Doomsday

The electricity was not cut off today.
Which means we will have a narrow window of time to pay it on monday before they cut off.
But it looks like that is the least of our worries.

Our most recent mortgage payment which was scheduled for this past monday has bounced. We learned this just today.

It doesn't make sense on paper, I budgeted this past week carefully. We kept our checking transactions to a minimum and we had a little cash that we used for any expenses we've had over the past week.
So WHY has this happened? I just don't understand. It doesn't add up. Something somewhere went awry. There were no other bills that were scheduled to be debited in this past week. Additionally, the balance in our account at this moment does not add up with our budget, by a pretty wide margin, actually. There are a couple hundred dollars that are suddenly just not there anymore, considering that we've made only a few low-amount transactions, mostly for gas(and when I say gas, I mean not a lot of it. Just enough to get to work when the tank is on empty)...but even most of that was paid through cash and not our checking account.

Did I make a mistake? Do we have an unauthorized transaction on the table that caused all of this? Not knowing is almost worse than the fact that it even happened at all. The banks are closed right now. Tomorrow we're going to get a printout of our transactions and see exactly what happened and we're going to enroll in online banking so we can hopefully keep closer tabs on our weekly transactions.

I've texted my sister-in-law to see if I can get a job in fast food. I'm sick to my stomach right now, to be honest, and angry. It is frustrating to me that I have put forward so much effort to budget everything out, make it all work and yet still, this happens. And it is equally frustrating to me, the part of me that knows that it is probably our own mistake...it was most likely no one else's fault but our own...although I hope my own shame will be relieved by looking at the statement printout and find that the mistake was on someone else's shoulders and not our own.

Where did $200 go?

It is equally frustrating to me that over the past month or two I have [weekly] put out multiple resumes to various places and none of them have given me any leads. I guess I am now starting to feel the sting of the economy. It's not so bad for someone who already has a good job and who has their money in control, they won't notice the difference. But when you've defaulted on your mortgage and need a job, it's a different matter. I'm probably one of innumerable average joes who not only lost their job but also realized they'd rather work a cash register than face foreclosure.

Praying for a job. Hoping in God. Prayers are appreciated.